A tarnished dream

At first i wanted to right about ego and forgiveness but decided to not dwell in that now n write about a dream i dreamed four years plus ago. When i started working i made a promise to myself that i will be the most helpful helpdesk. No is the answer for those of you whom might think "Helpdesk? He will definately be bullied into finishing the 'unwanted' jobs". My dream was to be an ever willing colleague to share knowledge. When i was a junior cook i know how difficult it was to approach a senior who always seems to be busy. For me approaching them was like putting my hear on the chopping block. Putting my dear life at the mercy of the executioner. I remember sending a dish to the masterchef after making sure that i have followed the recipe given. Upon serving the dish my master straightaway commented bout the flaws in my dish presentation. There goes hours of effort destroyed in mere seconds. No doubt after the experience i learned faster n tend to be more careful in completing a task. From that moment on, i decided to be an approachable and helpful senior to my juniors but not to the extend of spoon feeding them. A simple dream that was tarnished today. Today was the day that i blew my top off. Well i didnt really start a frantic word attack on my junior but i did raise my voice n i believe it was obvious from my facial expression n tone of voice that i was annoyed. After the incident, i felt really bad towards my junior. I was angry with myself for actually allowing myself to succumb to the frustration deep within me due to the situation i was in. How can i be so frail that i cant control my anger. I vented out my frustration to the wrong people. Seeing a dream kept for the past four years plus got tarnished really effects me. I made another promise today that i will try my very best to make up for the mistake that i have done.  ~a dreamer who dreams of a better reality~