Sunday, May 20, 2012
A stab to the heart
"the human tendency to wobble illogically in decision and later to assume that the decision was, after all, logical and enormously important, but forever to tell of it 'with a sigh' as depriving the speaker of who-knows-what interesting experience." -Eleanor Sickels on the poem The Road Not Taken
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Midnite Drama
I can't sleep...
It could be due to my excitement bout tomorrow. Am i excited? I dont think so. I think i am more scared and worried rather than excited.
I love travelling to new places but i am not good at making new friends. A trait that shouldnt come together.
I am afraid that if i sleep now i might wake up in a strange place.
I am afraid that if i sleep now everyone that i know will no longer be there tomorrow.
Paranoia
Hush dear go to sleep and tomorrow will be a new day for a new adventure..
It could be due to my excitement bout tomorrow. Am i excited? I dont think so. I think i am more scared and worried rather than excited.
I love travelling to new places but i am not good at making new friends. A trait that shouldnt come together.
I am afraid that if i sleep now i might wake up in a strange place.
I am afraid that if i sleep now everyone that i know will no longer be there tomorrow.
Paranoia
Hush dear go to sleep and tomorrow will be a new day for a new adventure..
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
8 questions about my little sister's wedding
Q: How was the wedding?
Alhamdulillah it went well but it was energy draining to me. Back in 2010 during my other sis's wedding i did not feel this tired. I choose to blame it on the hot weather while supressing the small voice inside of me which kept saying "You are getting older" *laughing*
Q: Being an eligible bachelor among your cousins and siblings,how did you handle question about your own marriage plan?
There are 3 steps on how i counter such questions:
1. Smile
2. While laughing says "Itulah dia soalan minggu ini" and try to instigate them to laugh with me
3. While they are laughing smile again and just walk away as if i needed to attend to other guests
Q: Did any of your sister's friend caught your attention?
*blushing* Yup one of them did catch my attention. I first saw her during the engagement ceremony and was looking forward to seeing her again during the wedding. She came and i saw her. That was it nothing worth mentioning happened between us.
Q: That was anti climatic. Apart from this obviously one sided excitement did you manage to leave an impression to your sis's friends?
During the 'berinai' ceremony my sister did came to me to tell me that some of her friends thinks i am adorable.
Q: What do you think you did which resulted to the adorable remark?
Maybe the fact that I was holding my niece throughout the ceremony. A man holding a baby in his arms never fails to exude a warm feeling among girls. I might be generalising here but i suspect this was the main reason for the adorable remark plus the occassional witty remarks that i voiced out during the event.
Q: Did you cry like you did in 2010?
I tried my best not to but once the groom concluded the ijab and qabul, my eyes just got watery. Believe me i did try supressing it and i did well at first. Then when my sister came to me we started hugging each other and she started crying. So did i. In between the sobs i manage to slip in some words of advice to her.
Q: What did you do with your sister on the eve of the solemnization ceremony as siblings?
Once i arrived in my hometown, both my sisters and i went out together. We went to pick up her wedding dress and had a drink in my favourite leng chee kang shop. We talked and joked around. I was happy and felt really glad that we went out together.
Q: A day after the wedding reception did you feel weird having a new person in the house like you felt in 2010?
I guess i am more matured now because instead of keeping quiet and feeling uneasy with the latest member of our family, i tried to be warm and friendly. I felt bad to my first brother in law because back in 2010 i was not very friendly and did not talk much eventhough he tried to strike conversation with me.
Alhamdulillah it went well but it was energy draining to me. Back in 2010 during my other sis's wedding i did not feel this tired. I choose to blame it on the hot weather while supressing the small voice inside of me which kept saying "You are getting older" *laughing*
Q: Being an eligible bachelor among your cousins and siblings,how did you handle question about your own marriage plan?
There are 3 steps on how i counter such questions:
1. Smile
2. While laughing says "Itulah dia soalan minggu ini" and try to instigate them to laugh with me
3. While they are laughing smile again and just walk away as if i needed to attend to other guests
Q: Did any of your sister's friend caught your attention?
*blushing* Yup one of them did catch my attention. I first saw her during the engagement ceremony and was looking forward to seeing her again during the wedding. She came and i saw her. That was it nothing worth mentioning happened between us.
Q: That was anti climatic. Apart from this obviously one sided excitement did you manage to leave an impression to your sis's friends?
During the 'berinai' ceremony my sister did came to me to tell me that some of her friends thinks i am adorable.
Q: What do you think you did which resulted to the adorable remark?
Maybe the fact that I was holding my niece throughout the ceremony. A man holding a baby in his arms never fails to exude a warm feeling among girls. I might be generalising here but i suspect this was the main reason for the adorable remark plus the occassional witty remarks that i voiced out during the event.
Q: Did you cry like you did in 2010?
I tried my best not to but once the groom concluded the ijab and qabul, my eyes just got watery. Believe me i did try supressing it and i did well at first. Then when my sister came to me we started hugging each other and she started crying. So did i. In between the sobs i manage to slip in some words of advice to her.
Q: What did you do with your sister on the eve of the solemnization ceremony as siblings?
Once i arrived in my hometown, both my sisters and i went out together. We went to pick up her wedding dress and had a drink in my favourite leng chee kang shop. We talked and joked around. I was happy and felt really glad that we went out together.
Q: A day after the wedding reception did you feel weird having a new person in the house like you felt in 2010?
I guess i am more matured now because instead of keeping quiet and feeling uneasy with the latest member of our family, i tried to be warm and friendly. I felt bad to my first brother in law because back in 2010 i was not very friendly and did not talk much eventhough he tried to strike conversation with me.
Friday, May 4, 2012
My Little Sisters
Another sister of mine is getting married. Compared to the last one i am more calm and receptive of the idea now.
Back in 2010 when another sister of mine were courted, i was freaked out. I was present when my now brother in law's family came to our house to ask for my sister's hand in marriage. The whole formality was over in less than an hour. Part of me was kind of mad with my parent because they were so receptive and cool about losing their daughter. Well they wont literally lose their daughter but at that time i felt as if my sister is being taken away from me. What made matters worts was the fact that the wedding was to take place in less than 6 months. I was like 'this is crazy!'.
How was i suppose to prepare myself to handle all the emotions that was engulfing me at that time. At that time i was sad at the thought of losing my little sister. I was scared that she might no longer need me or worst totally forgets about me. We were so close to each other.
When we were still studying, i remember that everytime i got home for semester break i would tease her like crazy. Sometimes my mum had to pull my ears (note : it was done in a loving way) just to get me to stop. Her marriage at that time was like a threat to my happiness.
She eventually got married and i learnt to accept our new family member, my brother in law. Time had proven that I was completely wrong thinking that her marriage might change our relationship. Well I may no longer teases her as much but now i know that no matter what i will always be her big brother.
So does less drama from me this time round when another sister if mine is getting married is a sign that i dont care? Hell no! I guess i have matured or some say experienced enough to know that marriage is not about separating your family members in fact it enriches your family. I might still shed some tears during the solemnization ceremony like i did last time. Dont get me wrong, for the tears were tears of joy and definately not because she got married first before me haha..
I pray to Allah for the happiness of my sister and her future husband. May Allah grants both of you ample willingness to forgive each other for mistakes that both of you might do in the future and gives both of you patience for the challenges of a married life.
Back in 2010 when another sister of mine were courted, i was freaked out. I was present when my now brother in law's family came to our house to ask for my sister's hand in marriage. The whole formality was over in less than an hour. Part of me was kind of mad with my parent because they were so receptive and cool about losing their daughter. Well they wont literally lose their daughter but at that time i felt as if my sister is being taken away from me. What made matters worts was the fact that the wedding was to take place in less than 6 months. I was like 'this is crazy!'.
How was i suppose to prepare myself to handle all the emotions that was engulfing me at that time. At that time i was sad at the thought of losing my little sister. I was scared that she might no longer need me or worst totally forgets about me. We were so close to each other.
When we were still studying, i remember that everytime i got home for semester break i would tease her like crazy. Sometimes my mum had to pull my ears (note : it was done in a loving way) just to get me to stop. Her marriage at that time was like a threat to my happiness.
She eventually got married and i learnt to accept our new family member, my brother in law. Time had proven that I was completely wrong thinking that her marriage might change our relationship. Well I may no longer teases her as much but now i know that no matter what i will always be her big brother.
So does less drama from me this time round when another sister if mine is getting married is a sign that i dont care? Hell no! I guess i have matured or some say experienced enough to know that marriage is not about separating your family members in fact it enriches your family. I might still shed some tears during the solemnization ceremony like i did last time. Dont get me wrong, for the tears were tears of joy and definately not because she got married first before me haha..
I pray to Allah for the happiness of my sister and her future husband. May Allah grants both of you ample willingness to forgive each other for mistakes that both of you might do in the future and gives both of you patience for the challenges of a married life.
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